Diamond Geezer Title


Ode To The Boys

(to the tune of My Old Man's A Dustman)

By LittleSharon

THis name is Jonny Wilkinson
He wears a magic hat
And when he saw the World Cup
He said “we’re ‘avin’ that’
He kicks goals with his left foot
He kicks them with his right
And when he spied the Aussies
He said ‘they’re not too bright’.

Oh, his name is Martin Johnson
Some say he is a thug
But when he captains England
I’d give him a big hug
He grabs ‘em with his right hand
He clouts ‘em with his left
And when he saw New Zealand lose
He knew they were bereft

His name is Jason Leonard
He should get a Knighthood
He’s bl**dy good at rugby
And can carve a lump of wood
He plays at tight and loose-head
You’ll see him on the wing
And when he comes back to the Stoop
Boy, we’re gonna sing.

His name is Willy Greenwood
Shaggy to you and me
And when he watches footie
He cheers on Man City
He’s good at mathematics
You’ve seen him count to two
He scores against the Aussies
They are a pile of p**h

His name is Jonny Wilkinson
He wears his magic socks
His kicking is much better
Than the Paddies, Taffs or Jocks
He kicks the ball with both boots
It flies right through the posts
And nicks the Rugby World Cup
Off the moaning Aussie hosts

His name is Jason Robinson
He’s known as Billy Whizz
He sprints off down the rugby pitch
He really is the biz
They say we can’t score tries
But they talk out of their a*se
‘Cos when he gets the ball in space
They’ll see he’s really fast

His name is Matty Dawson
The mean call him ‘wing nut’
He never ceases talking
Oppo wish he would shut up
He is the first-choice scrum-half
He wears the Number Nine
And now we’ve won the World Cup
You can hear the Aussies whine

His name is Stevie Thompson
He can’t throw the ball straight
But it doesn’t really matter
As our second row is great
He throws into the line-out
To hit the men who jump
And we have beat the Aussies
And now they have the hump

His name is Jonny Wilkinson
He wears his magic shorts
He plays at 10 for England
Just look how hard he fought
They got past Georgia, Wales and France
Uruguay and the Boks
They wanted that gold trophy
And that’s just what they got

His name, it is Ben Cohen
And Sharon thinks he’s great
He models Sloggi undies
And makes the ladies faint
Just like his Uncle George now
He has won a World Cup
The Aussies thought they had it
But they just cocked it up.

His name, it is Phil Vickery
He lives down on his farm
And he goes off to work there
With a sheep under each arm
He’s always down there in the scrum
He’s been around some years
So now he wears a scrum cap
To save his poor torn ears

His name is Lol Dallaglio
He has a foreign name
And when he’s back in Wasps’ kit
It really is a shame
He cried during the anthem
But he came smiling through
And we have beat the Aussies
Now they are crying too

Oh, Jonny’s on the telly
He gives an interview
He says ‘we are the champions
We won for me and you’
They said ‘is that all you’ve got?’
He said ‘it bl**dy is’
He scored the winning drop goal
The try was Billy Whizz

His name is Danny Luger
He is our sixteenth man
But we know that in Emma
He’ll always have a fan
He played for 30 seconds
Which caused a great big fuss
And no surprise, those Aussies,
They had a go at us

His name is Big Ben Kay
He fumbled Dawson’s pass
He nearly dropped his medal
It could have been a farce
But England triumphed on the night
The crowd they all went mad
So Ben Kay is a lucky man
He escaped the Pizza ad

His name it is Josh Lewsey
He hit Mat Rogers hard
When England triumphed back in June
In the Aussies’ own back yard
Mat used to go out surfing
But now he can’t lie flat
But we have little sympathy
He’s a whinging Aussie back

His name is Jonny Wilkinson
He wears his magic shirt
His kick, it won the World Cup
For Aussies it must hurt
They said they didn’t like us
They taunted us with jokes
Now we can’t hear them laughing
‘Cos our win has made them choke

His name is Richard Hill
He hasn’t played that much
But while he’s been out injured
He hasn’t lost his touch
He came on in the semis
To help us thrash the French
And sent them back off home to France
With their garlic stench

His name is Michael Tindall
He tackles just for fun
He stops the oppo players
On their attacking runs
With Mike Catt pushing for a place
He’s had to learn to kick
He’s much better than Campo
Who’s a cheating Aussie twit

His name it is Neil Back
He’s one of Clive’s Dad’s Army
The Aussies say they’re past it
Their taunts are just quite barmy
They don’t know what they’re on about
They really are quite lame
We beat them in the World Cup
Oh, what a bl**dy shame!

His name is Harry Windsor
He wears Jonny’s old shirt
We saw him in the changing rooms
He really is a flirt
It’s not that I am jealous (much)
I’d like to be there too
And if I got just half a chance
I know what I would do

His name, it is Clive Woodward
He is the winning coach
The Aussie press belittled
His so-called dull approach
They tried to wind him up
But Jonny kept on scoring
Shut up you whinging Aussie twits
That’s not what we call boring!

Oh, his name is Jonny Wilkinson
He wears his magic pants
And when he kicks the drop goals
The Aussies scream and rant
He scores ‘em with his left foot
He scores ‘em with his right
And now we’ve beat the Aussies
‘Cos they’re . . . . not very good really!

Other version: My Old Man's A Geezer

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If you think these lyrics are incorrect or if you have alternative lyrics (preferably funny and Quins related ones) drop me a line

This is copyright of the lyricist/songwriter and is only used here to aid our singing and to reduce the use of the phrases: "La-la-la", "Dum-ti-dum" and "Errr, hang on a minute, I'll remember in a minute".

Last Updated 15/12/03


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