How to tell if you are a devout Diamond Geezer
- Nobody knows your real name they all call you by your Geezer nickname
- Strangers come up to you and say one of the following : "I like your pants", "Look Mummy, clowns", "it's not red nose day already is it?" or just point and shout "Trousers!"
- Your old Quins shirt has shrunk to an incredible degree, but only around the midriff
- You know the price of six pints of Guinness, five lagers, four bitters, two gin and tonics, a rum and coke and a Chinese Uncle in pubs and bars all over Europe
- You have sung Dock of the Bay in every bar you have ever visited
- You remember some of the words of Quinn the Eskimo but still don't understand them
- You can't speak from Sunday to Thursday
- You strongly deny that you are the Ditch Sleeper
- You are always the first person to enter and the last person to leave a bar
- Your arse has been photographed by RobShew
- You think that 500 Miles by The Proclaimers is the best song to dance to in the world
- You have been flamed by Kev1n on the message board
- You think that a boat race counts as a legitimate sport and count it as healthy exercise
- You were there when AJB split his skin!
- You have sneaked into members only/directors bars at various away matches - and you think no one will notice even though you are wearing your trews and shirt
- You know the truth about the pie eating incident in Northampton
- You could retire on the proceeds from the blackmailing you could do on the other DGs - if only they didn't have similar information about you.
- You know how long The Horned Helmet has given up sex for
- You know about the "Swiss Tony" incident
- You know that your trews only truly clash with one other article of clothing - the barbour!
- You know the terror of seeing Tony Copsey singing YMCA
- You have actually been to an away game!!
- You have been seen wearing LabRat's Quin hat!
- You've been on one of SleepyHollow's coaches
- You've had messages deleted from the message board by TMJ
- You've woken up with a headache wondering all week what you got up to on matchday and then seen the pictures on the DG site
If you have any further additions to this list send them to us.