Liar liar with your pants on fire,
White spades hangin' on the telephone wire,
Gamblers reevaluate along the dotted line,
You'll never recognize
Yourself on heartattack and vine.

Doctor lawyer beggar man thief,
Philly joe remarkable looks on in disbelief,
If you want a taste of madness,
You'll have to wait in line,
You'll probably see someone you know on heartattack and vine.

Boney's high on china white, shorty found a punk,
Don't you know there ain't no devil,
There's just god when he's drunk,
Well this stuff will probably kill you,
Let's do another line,
What you say you meet me down
On heartattack and vine.

See that little jersey girl in the see-through top,
With the peddle pushers sucking on a soda pop,
Well i bet she's still a virgin
But it's only twenty-five 'til nine,
You can see a million of 'em
On heartattack and vine.

Better off in Iowa against your scrambled eggs,
Than crawling down change on a broken pair of legs,
You'll find your Cahuenga is blissful every goddamn time,
Your're waitin' for the rtd on heartattack and vine.